who's joey?

or, an explanation

I've had the nickname "Marcie" since high school, so long that some people don't know it's not my given name. My roommate in college, Theresa, actually calls me "Marcie" more than she does my given name. I have nothing against it; it's fun sometimes.

However, who I am these days (butch dyke, tattoo artist wanna-be, etc.)... "Marcie" doesn't fit so much any more. It was fine when I was in high school, but that was fifteen years ago. I've changed quite a bit since then and have come into myself in a way that's revealing a lot more of who I am and not who people think I should be.

When my friend Mary came out a few years ago, she changed her name to Marty. She did it because while "Mary" was faking the straight girl life, "Marty" was a real person -- a tomboy-ish lesbian much more comfortable in a T-shirt and jeans than in the perfectly coordinated, feminine outfits she wore for years trying to play it straight. The idea of that -- that you can decide who you are and change your name accordingly -- stayed with me for a couple of years, percolating in my little brain.

I've gone through some typical early-thirties life changes in the last two years and have become much more myself, which is always interesting. I'm finding that "Marcie" just doesn't fit any more, and really, neither does my given name, which is "Joy". I've known this for a couple of years and have actually been searching for a new online name, at the least.

Marty started calling me "Joey" a couple of years ago as a joke, since I was teasing her about her changing her name. I loved the name, but I was too chicken to use it. When I met my friend Miryam last fall, she picked up on it and immediately started calling me "Joey" full-time. She says it suits me better. Once I realized I could actually have someone call me by another name and not have the world collapse in on itself, I really liked it. The nice thing about being in your thirties is you don't care so much what other people think any more, so I decided to keep "Joey". It's perfect. It's very much me, if you know what I mean.

If you know me in real life and I haven't asked you to call me Joey yet, it's probably because you're family or I haven't gotten around to it yet. Worry not; I'm not going to shave my head and join a cult or anything. I just like the name better than "Marcie" or "Joy". It fits better. If you have questions or you just want to holler at me, you can reach me at joey at snerk dot net. The marcie at snerk dot net address will continue to work for the forseeable future, but please change your address book to reflect the new address.

Thanks,
Joey