twitchings and mutterings

Back when I was keeping a Web journal, I would sometimes write pieces that didn't necessarily belong in the regular journal, but that I didn't want to lose. I dumped them all here.

Please take these essays with a grain of salt, especially the older ones. I was... a little tense for a while. Believe it or not, I've gotten less snarky and more mellow over the years. God knows, I needed to relax...

I've also culled the best writings from another Web site I used to run, so if you think you've seen these before, that's probably why. Let the twitching begin!


Bored at work, 7 November 2007
*zzzzZZZZzzZZZZzz*

My funny girl, 19 April 2007
Blindsided by bad puns before breakfast.

Questions from the beit din, 29 September 2006
My conversion essay.

"Intro to Judaism" final paper, 10 August 2006
My final paper for my Intro to Judaism class, required for my conversion.

Dear Mom & Dad..., August 2006
Coming out to my parents... again.

Creation, 11 November 2005
Yes, I occasionally write poetry. Don't look so damn shocked. I can see you out there, you know.

Why I don't attend church any more, 22 April 2005
I actually started writing this a few months ago, but I didn't finish it until now.

A bit on breakfast, 17 April 2003
Flashbacks to childhood at 7:30 in the morning.

To-do list, 18 March 2003
Things I have to do before death.

One minute to midnight, 17 March 2003
My thoughts on the war in Iraq right before it started. My view has not changed -- if anything, it's been solidified.

Don't fear the reaper, 14 March 2003
Fun with layoffs.

Can the sidekick speak?, 5 February 2003
Contemplating a name change.

A day in the life, 23 January 2003
My life, it is so exciting.

Cyn's coconuts, 3 January 2003
My wife is a weirdo.

Rule Number One: the update, 23 December 2002
Read Rule Number One first.

Heil to the Court!, 3 December 2002
A rant about sodomy laws. Mmm, sodomy.

A lament for Safeway, 1 December 2002
Alas, poor Safeway, we hardly knew ye...

Yuppie materialism, 30 November 2002
Oh, the shame!

Joey's Travellin' Blues: A Short SF Vignette, 15 November 2002
Friday night between star systems.

Here, kitty kitty..., 10 November 2002
My cat is a freak.

Rebel yell, 17 October 2002
My finest rant yet, it's about heritage, culture, and cornbread.

A rant about ADD and work, 16 October 2002
Written while working at the worst job I've ever had. Oh yes.

09/11/02, 11 September 2002
The obligatory "first anniversary of 9/11" essay.

Here comes the dyke... all dressed in white..., 10 September 2002
Written 12 days before my wedding. Lord, I was a mess.

Monday morning battle, 9 September 2002
It's that time of year again...

It's a conspiracy!, 19 July 2002
I hadn't gotten a lot of sleep when I wrote this...

My de-conversion from Christianity, 18 July 2002
More reasons I'm going to hell.

A memo, 17 July 2002
Hee hee. I think I'm funny sometimes.

Raise a frosty glass..., 17 July 2002
... to Mr. William Carrier.

Getcher frozen pastry here!, 11 July 2002
My cow-orkers are strange.

Rule Number One, 8 July 2002
The story of my first love and what happened after. Awwww.

Amateur stoner, 25 October 2000
I'm kidding about the pot, Mom... really. Well, as far as you know...

Smoke break, 29 September 2000
Taking a break at work.

I said NO KETCHUP!, 10 January 2000
I love fast food, really.

A stall of my own, 4 January 2000
Bathrooms and stupid women.

Biker jackets and other oddities, 27 April 1999
The bullshit factor is wayyy up there when Jared's around.

Ponderings on music, 18 March 1999
Lionel Richie inspired this one. I think I should be afraid.

Murphy rules my world, March 1999
I go on the "I need a vacation!" rant.

I want..., 17 March 1999
A fantasy.

Quake?, 26 February 1999
The building still shakes sometimes. Eek.

New pants and silly children, 13 February 1999
I still don't get it.

The rules of pizza delivery, 21 November 1998
Read and learn. Your pizza delivery puke will thank you.

Marcie's life lessons, 18 November 1998
Sixty second philosophy. It doesn't quite fit on a T-shirt, but what the hell.

Lucky number seven?, 11 November 1998
My mind worries me sometimes.

Thursday morning, 23 October 1998
Searching for the right gift for a friend.

Microwave madness, 21 October 1998
The return of ramen. Ewww!

Corporate goth, 16 October 1998
The irony of this still makes me giggle.

Birthday grrrls, 15 October 1998
Jen, Nance and I are all Libras, and yet we still get along. Figure it.

Matthew Shepard, 1976 - 1998, 15 October 1998
Remember.

The lost art of sleep, 9 October 1998
I still have a tendency to stay up too late, as you'd know if you saw the modification time on this file.

Thoughts on the lottery, 9 September 1998
I still call it a stupid tax. Sue me.

Emotional parasites, 14 August 1998
Sometimes you have to put a friendship down.

On being a bitch, August 1998
Labels are for the weak. But sometimes they can be a source of strength.

Manifesto, August 1996
The rant that started it all.