a stall of one's own

4 January 2000

Let me just rant for a minute about bathrooms. Okay with you? Good.

I work at a fairly large and boring defense contractor. The only advantage to this thus far is there are a goodly number of bathrooms scattered throughout the facility. I have the added bonus of being lucky enough to have one around the corner from my office, in case I should need to go make Budweiser after drinking my morning Coke. So far, so good. However, I have noticed something. It is virtually impossible for me to use the bathroom without someone else wandering in and taking the stall right next to mine.

I mean, here I am, doing my thing and generally zoning in that Zen state of mind that accompanies moments like those, when I hear the slam of a door and see this pair of feet shuffle into the stall next to me. This totally disrupts my aura and my Zen moment flees as though before the wind. (And I don't mean breaking wind, smart-asses.) There are eight stalls in the ladies room, not including the huge handicapped stall on the end. Why must every chick that comes in there sit right next to me? I know I'm not THAT attractive.

Maybe I'm alone in this, but I would prefer to poop in peace.